`0 CrAzY QuOtEs 0'

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

Една темичка за изватки и "мъдри мисли" на които сме попадали и/или ни кефат толкоз че просто няма как да не ги споделим grin

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

1. Do not introduce yourself as role-playing character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard last number. Do number 1-4.

7. Note Expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies...kill them all.

13. For legal purposes be sure to delete last note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying doesn't solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room full of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, uh...uh...damn.

25. Train armies of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word 'pianist'.

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at the zoo. They have feelings...and teeth.

33. Little people are aggressive. Stay away from little people.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do it as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry, it's only me. Bonding.

36. Never pet a burning dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man. Especially if you're wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it a lot.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gumnut tree."

48. No matter what people say. There is a way into your fantasy world.

49. The way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't give a shit.

51. The Ten Steps to Dying.

a. Fall down.

b. Be rushed to hospital.

c. Not be saved.

d. Be mourned over.

e. Be buried in dirt.

f. Have your grave looted.

g. Rot.

h. Rot.

i. Rot.

j. Have your bones reanimated and used for pain, destruction and terror.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can kill you too.

55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I couldn't get his lucky charms.

56. Catch and castrate leprechaun.

57. He is real...no matter what the men in white say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around the n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Go ask Senior Diablo for bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM.

66. Tell the small children in the TOYS 'R' US that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69. Scream. Doctors don't like it; they give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise people will ask embarrassing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if it’s broken glass.

73. If in the presence of someone much wiser then you, point in a random direction and shout, "LOOK, a distraction." Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats little children.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death by ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers in a blender.

82. Blender...Bad...Ouch.

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to reattach fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as mortal.

90. The Seagull From Hell is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Star by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. Was written by voice #7.

99. Gullible is written on the ceiling.

100. Investigate this whole 'critical mass' when the klaxon dies down.

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

. "Dance as though no one is watching you. love as though you have never been hurt before. sing as though no one can hear you. live as if heaven is on Earth."

2. "Everyone wants to be the sun, that brightens up your life, but I would rather be the moon, that shines on you in your darkest hours."

3. . . . but in the end I believe I'm one thing, a dreamer. After all I dream a dream, that's such a dream, that dreamers won't dream this dream. I dream that Hi will love me one day. I dream a dream that dreamers don't dream. I only hope that once before I die I can tell another of my dreams.

4. I give the impression that i'm secure, that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; that confidence is my name, and coolness is my game; that the waters are calm and I'm in command and I need no one. But don't believe it; please don't.

5. Good girls don't lie..
Bad girls don't cry..
Dumb girls need air..
Naughty girls need underwear..
Sweet girls aren't mean..
Funny girls make a scene..
Perfect girls have all the class..
Mean girls will kick your a$s..
Smart girls will excel..
Gossip girls will tell..
Popular girls get all the bois..
Little girls play with toys..
Normal girls are nothing nEw..
So which one applies to you?

6. No matter how serious life gets
u still gotta have that one person
who u can be completely StUpID with

7. You Cant c I’ m hurting… Ur 2 blind 2 notice main pain,
It feels like everyone’s
::SiTtIn In SuNShIne::
WhiLe Im DRoWnin In RaIn::

8. Don’t apologize for feelings- when you do, your are apologizing for the truth

9. Never forget what people say when they're mad, cuz thats when the truth comes out...

10. Break the rules
Stand Apart
ignore your head
Follow your Heart

11. There is nothing sadder than a child who has barely seen the world, yet who has seen enough of it to know that he does not wish to be a part of it...

12. Not All Scars Show
Not All Wounds Heal
Sometimes You Can't Always See
The Pain Someone Feels

13. And life, life’s a bitch, cause if it were a slut, It’d be easy.

14. Pride is TaSteLeSs, SiZeLeSs, and CoLorLeSs
::but it's the hardest thing to swallow::

15. You say I'm insane. But am I really the sane one in your insane world, which defines me as insane therefore leading you to say I'm insane because of the insane rules to make this insane world sane?

16. Heres the plan: When I'm at Death's door, I'm going to ring the door bell, and run like mad!

17. Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks your an ass!

18. To discover who you are, first learn what everybody else is--and your whats left

19. I'm away...Because Reality is best when avoided like crazy.

20. You have one advantage over me...you can kiss my ass and I can't.

21. Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

22. Despite the cost of living, look how popular it is.

23. "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh."

24. Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

25. What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

26. …I lied to you. I had been lying to you for all these time. Lying just to make you, my little fragile doll, stronger. I broke my favorite doll again and again just to let it mend because I know that it will mend. But now that the doll breaks too far that with only one more touch it’s beyond repairing, I stop, for I admit…I can’t bear seeing you shatter.

27. You own me or is it I that own you? We cannot tell who really belong to whom. It's the spell that we are both under...and can never escape for the rest of our short lives--the lives that can be easily ripped away like plugging leaves. That...is the spell of Possession.

28. "Heaven won't have me and hells afraid i'll take over!"

29. "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice and sit back letting the world wonder how the hell you did it."

30. "You will have a moment in your life when you have to be a man and do the right thing!" "OH! I love those moments! I love to wave at them as they pass by.

31. "If at first you don't succeed erase all evidence that you have tried."

32. "One day your prince will come, mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions"

33. "When life hands you lemons...TRADE THEM FOR CHOCOLATE!"

34. "Does this look like the face of a person who cares? No. This looks like the face of a person who is currently thinking of a million ways to kill you for being so annoying..."

35. "I'm not following you, I just happen to be going in the same direction in the same speed as you. Never mind the fact that we're both going over the speed limit."

36. "Reality is fantasy and fantasy is a dream.

37. "Smiling is only a symptom of happiness and can be faked. Do not assume that everybody who smiles is happy."

38. "Walking across the thin ice of my dreams, fearing the cold waters of reality beneath me. Yet onward I tred."

39. "Fear? Me! Hah! I do not fear I run like hell."

40. Death is life’s way of saying you’ve been fired

41. It’s kinda sad...
how the world turns out...
When everything you do...
Is nothing you want...

42. Stupid kills, unfortunately not fast enough.

43. Come to the dark side, we have cookies.

44. Sex is hereditary, if your parents didn't have it neither will you.

45. “He gave me 11 roses, 10 real and 1 fake and said he’d love me until the last one dies”

46. Good friends will bail you outta jail. Real friends will be standing next to you going, “DUDE THAT WAS FRICKEN AWESOME!”

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

47. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse.

48. If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
49. Hook: If I were you, I'd give up!
Peter: If you were me... I'd be ugly!

50. - Love your enemies. It'll scare the crap outta them

51. Tell me to sit and I'll stand. Tell me I'm pretty and I'll cut up my face. Tell me to laugh and I'll frown. Tell me to stay and I'll run. Tell me to love you, and I'll kill you.

52. I'm smiling... That should scare you.

53. I'm thinking. One word about it and I'll knock you off the roof!

54. I was born intelligent but education ruined me...

55. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking

56. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance

57. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back

58. Where there's a will, there are five hundred relatives

59. Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die

60. Boys are like chocolate, they go straight to your hips!

61. Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to

62. If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side

63. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

64. Don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught

65. They say the truth will set you free. But then why is it that every time I tell the truth I get sent to my room?

66. I did my homework! I just forgot to write it down!

67. I'm not scared of dying, I just don't want to!

68. Consciousness- that annoying time between naps

69. Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you

70. The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

71. I got lost in thought... It was unfamiliar territory

72. I have the answer in my head. I just haven’t found it yet!

73. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey

74. Money can’t buy happiness... But it sure makes misery easier to live with...

75. If it screams, it's not food... yet

76. You sound reasonable... Time to up my medication

77. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

78. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits

79. The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality

80. Never argue with idiots. The just drag you down to their level and then beat you with their experience

81. I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

82. "Here's to you and here's to me
I pray that friends we'll always be,
But if by chance we disagree,
The heck with you and here's to me!"

83. "But I CAN'T get my mind out of the gutter, I threw it in there one day, and now I can't get it out"

84. "I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."

85. "I know that's not very logical, but then again, neither am I."

86. “A wise man once said, "I don't know, go ask a woman."

87. "Three can keep a secret if two are dead.”

88. “I'm going to live forever...or die trying!"

89. “Monday you can fall apart
Tuesday Wednesday break my heart
Thursday doesn't even start
It's Friday I'm in love”
90. "You're a surfer now?"
"Dude, I rip."
"We're 300 miles from the nearest beach."
"Surfing's just a state of mind."

91. I'm a fangirl... Deal with it.... cuz I know you're one too...

92. YAOISM SHOULD BE A RELIGION. IF YOU BELIEVE THIS, COPY AND PASTE THIS TO YOUR SIGGIE.

93. If weird is just another word for different then I'm deffinently weird and loving it!!!

94. Coulda been werse. Coulda used to been smart.

95. Jump first, read the instructions on the way down

96. Red: Stop!! I can't laugh and eat at the same time!!
Blondie: Sure ya can! It's called choking.

97. life can be a bit of bitch... but it doesn't mean you should stop smiling...

98. my friends are gay/bi/lez/straight, emo, sporty, cheery, wise, nice, mean, childish, and a lot of other things... but i love them all the same

99. "The real voyage of discovery consists not of seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."

100. If at first you don't succeed...screw it and move on to something else

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

101. I dream in darkness, I sleep to die. Erase the silence, erase my life. Our burning ashes, blacken the day. A world of nothingness, blow me alway.

102. Knowledge is power...but power corrupts...and corruption is a crime...and crime doesn't pay...so if you keep on studying you'll go broke!

103. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is called a work station...

104. By the time you finish reading this, you've realized you have wasted 5 seconds of your life.

105. I suffer from CLD ~Chronic Laughing Disorder~

106. It's painful sometimes but, IT'S ALSO GOOD FOR YOU!!!

107. Every great dream, begin with a dreamer!

108.
Frail limp nursery by slipknot
"She lay as though she were in a trance,
With her long eyelashes fluttering like she was dreaming.
She said to him 'I lie beyond the sea' and then,
All of a sudden her head dipped back and she vanished.
Gone, gone without a trace.
Gone.
She's never coming back,
Do you know what it's like to live with that?
No one knows what it's like.
The only one who knew me, gone."
"I know what you want I can give it to you..."
"I'm so tired... tired and hungry...tired..."
"Have you ever seen heaven?"

109. “I’m not insane,” he said. “Not really. I’ve been insane. This isn’t at all like it.”

110. They say, 'Before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticise them you're a mile away,
and you have their shoes'

111. "When nothing makes sense, I'll fight believing only in myself."

112. The purpose of life is to fight maturity.

113. I adore the despair in your eyes
I worship your lips once red as wine
I crave for your sending scent shivers down my spine …

114. Pale, without name or number,
In fruitless fields of corn,
They bow themselves and slumber
All night till light is born;
And like a soul belated,
In hell and heaven unmated,
By cloud and mist abated
Comes out of darkness morn.

115. Proving that I am right would be admitting that I could be wrong

116. A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world.

117. then I would like to be remembered as the one who blended macho-ness with sensitivity... without looking stupid or completely self-absorbed.

118. Thats what a ship is, you know. Its not a keel and a hull and a deck and sails. Thats what a ship needs. But what a ship is. What the Black Pearl really is . . . is freedom.

119. ...In the world it calls itself Tolerance; but in Hell it is called Despair... It is the sin which believes in nothing, cares for nothing, seeks to know nothing, interferes with nothing, enjoys nothing, loves nothing, hates nothing, finds purpose in nothing, lives for nothing, and only remains alive because there is nothing it would die for...

120. With praise on my lips and a song in my heart, I lift my hands to the sky...and I dance.

121. God does not believe in atheists, therefore atheists do not exist

122. If you pick up a dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the difference between dog and man.

123. Don't be so "open-minded" that your brains fall out.

124. Books are gateways, portals, through which the imagination can slip through into another time, another place, or even another world

125. I don't understand myself. For I don't do the things I want to do, and what I hate doing, I do. (Translation: Aaaaargh!)

126. If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it

127. What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers

128. Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space.

129. Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space.

130. Random amusing quote: "There was a time when I was young and gay . . but straight"

131. Mild mannered physicist with an unhealthy Buffy obsession. You know you need help when people tell you vampires aren't real and you reply, "Yeah. But don't you wish they were?"

132. "If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster."

133. One's man's catastrophe is another man's opportunityOne's man's catastrophe is another man's opportunity.

134. I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.

135. HEY I AM NOT CRAZZY!..im just open minded...

136. Baa weep grah na weep nini bon ~ The universal greeting

137. How 'bout some affection in your direction!

138. Someday my boat will come in and with my luck, I'll be at the airport

139. To live is to die, Naruto, and to die is to live. Don’t forget that.

140. A fantasy ...
So much more wholsome
than reality.
So soft, and perfectly blurred
Hide here, forever
Where no one can reach you
no one can touch you.
No one can hurt you
... ever again

141. Life is just a mirror, and what you see out there you must first see inside of you …

142. "I am the Alpha and the omega,
the first and the last, the beginning and the end."

143. Silent sea, Screaming ground, shining sky to fly
Emerald sea, sardius ground, Jasper sky to bleed
and fall as sweet rain …

144. One more kiss could be the best thing,
But one more lie could be the worst…
And all these thoughts are never resting,
And you're not something I deserve.

145. Make a mental note...oh I see you're out of paper

146. I have all the answers.
But I never said they were right.

147. You are like a flower
That bloomed in a dark shadow
Even though you're in a place you didn't wish to be,
You can't move because of your roots

148. Even if there comes a time
When the whole world becomes our enemy
I'll protect you

149. "Death is God's way of saying "Your fired!" Suicide is your way of saying "You can't fire me! I quit!"

150. "There are three kinds of people in the world. People who make things happen, people who watch things happen, and people who wonder what happened."

151. "A real friend is hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to foget!"

152. "Good friends are like stars... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there".

153. "Friends are like ballons, once you let them go, you can't get them back, so I'm going to tie you to my heart so I never lose you."

154. "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

155. "I would break that wouldn't I...

156. “You weren’t paying attention. Besides, the best way to win an argument is to knock the other person out.”

157. I’ve lost myself. I’ve gone to find myself. If I return before I get back, please tell me to wait there! P.S. I haven’t lost my mind. It’s backed up on a floppy.

158. “Oh sure, cheating on a test actually ends the world one time, and you just can’t let it go."

159. "Sanity!? Sorry, but I don't remember having such a useless thing in the first place."
“Alright, so you basically shocked them to death, nearly killed them all, banished their King, disturbed all their pretty little ideas and to sum up turned their world upside down.”
“Basically.”
“Excellent! Great job, boy!"

160. "By the way I love you"

161. "That hurt, not like when you jump on a bike with the seat missing, but it hurt."

162. "If you think things cant get worse its because you lack a creative imagination!"

163. "No really, i'm not arrogant. I’m just better than everyone else."

164. "I got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory."

165. "I think when we look deep into our hearts, we realive brutality is funny, when directed towards somebody else."

166. "and bnet said... "Let it be easier!"

167. "We die together!" "..." "LOL HE RAN AWAY!"

168. The world is dark, and light is precious.
Come closer, dear reader.
You must trust me.
I am telling you a story.

169. "When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic." -House, House MD

170. "You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!"

171. "Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil."

172. I'm sane, it's the world that's crazy"

173. You laugh because im diffrent i laugh because you're all the same

174. DONT HATE ME BECASUE IM BEAUTFUL HATE ME BECAUSE YOUR MAN THINKS I AM

175. DONT SAY YOU LOVE ME UNLESS U REALLY MEAN IT, CUZ I MIGHT DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE BELIEVE IT

176. When I first saw you I was afarid to talk to you*When i first talked to you I was afraid to like you*When i first liked you i was afarid to love you*Now that I love you I m afraid to lose you

177. whats betta? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?

178. I wasn't Kissing him, I was just telling his lips a secret!!

179. If ur naughty go 2 ur room..
If u wanna be naughty, go 2 mine

180. IT's better to let someone think you are an Idiot than to open your mouth and prove it *********

181. God made coke god made pepsi god made (Name) so darn sexy

182. All Good Girls And Boys Go To Heaven Thats Why I Wasnt Invited

183. Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened

184. Some day u'll cry for me like i cried for you ¤ Some day u'll miss me like i missed you ¤ Some day u'll need me like i needed you
¤ Some day u'll love me, but i wont luv you!

185. Everyone who lives dies but not everyone who dies lives

186. If u need space join NASA baby!!!

187. Dream as if you'll live forever...Live as if you'll die

188. If love isnt a game, then why are there so many players?

189. *I wAnTeD 2 KiLL dA sExiEsT PeRsOn ALiVe ThEn I rELiZeD....oHh Ya! SuCiCiDeZ a CriMe!*

190. Well if i called the wrong number, whyd you answer?

191. Im an angel! Honest! The horns are just there to keep the halo up straight!

192. 4 out of 5 voices in my head say go back to sleep

193. FOR ALL OF YOU WHO TALK ABOUT ME THANKS FOR MAKING ME THE CENTER OF YOUR WORLD!

194. When you finally find the perfect guy you think to yourself, why isn't he taken?

195. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

196. I am not a player...I'm the game

197. 831-8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning, I love you

198. A heart is not a play thing~a heart is not a toy~but if you want it broken..just give it to a boy

199. *In Reality*....The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person......He's Playing Himself...

200. *He looked me deeply in the eyes. he lied and said "i won't make u cry" and when i thought it was 2 good 2 be true, he blew me off and found someone new*

201. Lust Is When You Love What You See. Love Is When You Lust For What's Inside

202. "We were given two hands to hold, two legs to walk, two eyes to see, two ears to hear, but why only one heart? Because the other one was given to someone for us to find."

203. "All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

204. Smile.
Knowing it’s the only thing left to do.
Laugh.
Knowing that your mask fools others.
Kindness.
Knowing that it makes others not to suspect your sadness.
Despair.
Knowing that you’re alone to face the unbearable pain by yourself.

205. Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it.

206. I need alcohol. There are brain cells that are going to remember tonight and I want them dead.

207. I know what you're thinking and you should be ashamed of yourself.

208. Don't destroy the world! ... That's where I keep my stuff.

209. Everything is always okay in the end. If it's not okay then it's not the end.

210. Drunkenness, n: A temporary but popular cure for Catholicism.

211. Religion is for people afraid of going to Hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there.

212. My parents said I could be anything when I grew up. So I became God.

213. I'm God. I'll let you know what to think.

214. I hope there's an afterlife so I can waste that too.

215. Tom is my only friend: The rest of my top 8 is a mixture of alcohol, anti-depressants and internet porn.

216. I know I'm not perfect, but I'm so close it scares me!

217. Since the day of my birth, my death began its walk. It is walking towards me, without hurrying.

218. You know how I smile when I see you? It's because I'm laughing deep down inside.

219. I used to have super human powers, but my therapist took them away

220. I'm so great. I'm jealous of myself.

221. Please don't bother me when I'm ignoring you.

222. Product of a sick society.

223. No ones perfect. Well... there was this one guy.. But we killed him.

224. Pain is created when the brain recieves more stimuli than it can process. Pleasure is reaching the brink of this. So, stop screaming. Your brain just doesn’t know you’re enjoying this yet.

225. Love is but a hostile shadow. You run, and it chases you, and in the end it devours you like a black hole devours a spaceship.

226. Chocolate doesn't make you fat, it makes your clothes shrink!

227. When life gives you lemons...WRITE YAOI.

228. I am not anti-social… I just don't like you.

229. Sky is not a ceiling that is protecting us... It's an opened door that invites us to meet the stars...

230. I think...therefore I am dangerous.

231. If I don't like you, you're stupid. If you're stupid shut then fuck up.

232. STRAIGHT? So is spaghetti until you heat it up.

233. I had a night are I was a brunette.

234. Why do villains have white hair and wear black?...Because they have no dandruff...Evil?...VERY.

235. I want less to do, more time to do it, and a higher pay for not getting it done.

236. "...if I was really as crazy as you say, then I would be locked up in a loony bin. As you see, this is not the case. If...I'm sorry, can you help me? My nose itches and this straitjacket is on a little tight..."

237. If men could get pregnant abortion would be a sacrament.

238. I'm tough, ambitious and know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.

239. I haven't seen anyone killed and I have yet to kill anyone. I have shown great restraint.

240. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

241. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

242. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

243. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

244. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

245. If you speak to god you're religious. If God speaks to you you're psychotic.

246. I think of lying as creative "truth-making".

247. Depression is anger without enthusiasm.

248. Goths hate the world, but with emos, the world hates them.

249. Imagination was given to man to compensate for what he's not and a sense of humor for what he is.

250. Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

251. It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
252. It ain't those parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand.
253. If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
254. I'm not arrogant. Arrogance is a flaw. I have no flaws.
255. "There was something very wrong about L naming a female dog after him, and knowing the detective, it was a very roundabout way of calling him a bitch."
256. Jesus may walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
257. When I was a kid I would ask God every night for a bike. When I then realized that that wasn't the way the Lord worked I stole one instead and asked him to forgive me.
258. That's remarkable thing about life; It's never so bad that it couldn't get worse.
259. **To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”**
~C.S. Lewis
260. "5 out of 4 people have trouble with fractions."
261. "667. Evil and then some."
262. "Always forgive your enemies, because nothing annoys them more."
263. "And to think, you're the end result of millions of years of evolution."
264. "A nuclear war can ruin your whole day."
265. "Are you a side effect of my medication?"
266. "Behold! The All-American weapon of mass destruction: choking on a pretzel."
267. "Boys are like pennies, two-faced and worthless."
268. "Chaos...Panic...Disorder...My work here is done."
269. "Come talk to me when you have some money."
270. "Come to the dark side; we have cookies."
271. "Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."
272. "Don't drink and drive; you might spill your beer!"
273. "Don't interupt me when I'm talking to myself."
274. "Don't tell me to watch my blood pressure. I have no blood!"
275. "Eat right, exercise, die anyway."
276. "Fight Organized Crime: Abolish the IRS."
277. "For the record, I blame you."

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

278. "Gnomeland Secrurity."
279. "Gone to my happy place. Back soon."
280. "Goose a dragon and you're toast."
281. "Happiness is like wetting your pants. Other people can see it and only you can feel it."
282. "Have a nice day but leave me out of it."
283. "Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?"
284. "I did NOT escape. They gave me a day pass."
285. "Idiocy is the essence of the male mind."
286. "I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to."
287. "I don't get mad, I get even."
288. "If I die, I'm taking you with me! Oh...you're dying? Forget I said anything."
289. "If the opposite of 'pro' is 'con', what's the opposite of 'progress'?"
290. "If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk."
291. "If you want breakfast in bed, go sleep in the kitchen."
292. "If you wish not to be destroyed, you will leave me alone."
293. "I hate it when I get food in my sand."
294. "I have a dream, and in it something eats you."
295. "I like it in my happy place, for they know me there."
296. "I like stress. It makes me hurt people."
297. "I'm an angel! I swear! The horns are just there to hold the halo in place!"
298. "I'm not littering, I'm donating to the earth."
299. "I'm only afraid of knives when you're holding them."
300. "I'm too tired to tell the truth."
301. "I put ketchup on my ketchup."
302. "It's bad luck to be superstitious."
303. "It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for."
304. "I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead."
305. "I've said it once, but it's worth repeating. Anime: Crack is cheaper."
306. "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandfather...not screaming like the passengers in his car."
307. "Jesus is my best friend, but he never lends me money."
308. "Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand."
309. "Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard; be evil."
310. "Last night, as I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky, I thought, "Where hell is my ceiling?"
311. "Manga: The Anti-Drug. Because when you're addicted to manga, how could you possibly afford drugs?!"
312. "My homework ate my dog!"
313. "My life is too much for me to keep up with. I want my sippy cup back."
314. "My mind works like lightning...One brilliant flash and it's gone."
315. "No need to suffer in silence when you can still moan, whimper, and complain."
316. "NO TRESPASSING. Violators will be shot; survivors will be shot again."
317. "Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool."
318. "Of course I don't look busy; I did it right the first time."
319. "Of course I'm out of my mind!...It's dark and scary in there..."
320. "Of course violence isn't the answer. 'Violence' is the question and 'yes' is the answer!"
321. "Only in America do pizzas arrive at doorsteps faster than ambulances."
322. "Only in America do they sell hot dogs in packs of ten and buns in packs of eight."
323. "Only in America is the slowest traffic time of the day reffered to as 'rush hour'"
324. "Ow, my brain hurts."
325. "Please do not throw anything or anybody into the fish pond."
326. "Sarcasm is just one more survice I offer."
327. "Self Destruct in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Have a nice day. (explodes)"
328. "Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver."
329. "Smile. It confuses people."
330. "Sorry, mind closed until further notice."
331. "Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed."
332. "Sugar is good for you."
333. "Take one step closer and I'll run away."
334. "Tell me your sob story...I need a good laugh."
335. "That which doesn't kill you...Will probably try again."
336. "The ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent."
337. "The newscaster is the person who says 'Good evening' and then tells you why it's not."
338. "The stupider people think you are, the more suprised they are when you kill them."
339. "There is a fine line between insanity and stupidity. Feel free to cross it!"
340. "There's too much blood in my caffeine system!"
341. "They say I have A.D.H.D., but I just don't understa- oh look! A kitty!"
342. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target."
343. "When it comes to thought, some people stop at nothing."
344. "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it."
345. "When life gives you lemons, throw them back in God's face and yell, 'Make your own damn lemonade!'"
346. "Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?"
347. "You can't spell slaughter without laughter."
348. "You cry, I'll cry. You laugh, I'll laugh. You fall out of a window, I'll laugh."
349. "Your chances of getting struck by lightning increase if you stand
under a tree, shake your fist up at the sky, and yell, 'Storms suck!'"
350. "Your participle is dangling."
351. "You're not paranoid if they really are out to get you."

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

'If you think things can't get worse, its porbably because you lack sufficient imagination'
'The only trouble with reality is that there's no background music.'
'Ideas dont stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement.'
'Don't make me angry. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.'
"They laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at them because they're the same."
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's learning to dance in the rain."
"Love is a serial killer, and we're all innocent victims."
'Mankind is working hard so that we can find new ways to be lazy.'
'Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.'
'You are living proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. I'm amazed you haven't got a Darwin Award yet for being brain-dead.'
'Ah, morons. Can't live with them, can't suffocate yourself laughing without them.'
'I realized I was God when I prayed and was only talking to myself.'
'Sometimes we put walls around us, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.' -Dr. House (?)

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

female come backs
pick up line comebacks, add to itMan: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u togetherMan: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.Man: Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!
Woman: Really? I have the incredible urge to plant my foot up your @.

Брой мнения : 441 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

RANDOM QUOTES SOMEONE AND HIS FRIENDS HAVE SAID-
Me- Oh like a threesome?Grace- There's a word for it?!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBecky-No, it's for bee-ology.Me-Bee-ology? What, you studying bees or something? Oh, and we have Geom-Tree next period just to remind you.(If you don't get it, she pronounced Bee-ology instead of Biology)ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooAnimal Cracker-Dude! I was the only girl on my team actually playing!Me-Are you sure you're a girl?Animal Cracker-I dunno...Me-Well when was the last time you checked?00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000Me- Huh, so the giant black rabbit DOES exist.Mom-HA! See! I'm NOT crazy!Me-...Yeah you are.Mom-Yeah, but the rabbit does exist!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOEszterbunny- Your faceMe- Yeah, well at least your face doesn't break mirrors like mi---silence-Eszterbunny- Did you just insult--Me- Shut up.oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooMom- Do you want me to bite YOU? Huh? Is that what you want?Me- Mum, he's a dog, he doesn't understand you.Mom- OH YES HE DOES!Me-Oh
yeah, watch. really high pitch voice Kiko, oh kiko, whose gonna be
thrown in the oven? Whose gonna be turned into a hotdog? YOU ARE!-dog's sitting down, wagging his tail-Me- See, he thinks he's getting food.000000000000000000000ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo00000000000000000000000000000000000ooooooooooooooooMe- OMG! YOU LOOK LIKE A...Beckary- A bobblehead?Me- THAT'S THE WORD, I was about to say weevilhead! CuzTogether- Weevils wobble but they never fall downMe- Yeah, so I mixed the two together and made a weevilhead!Beckary- Right now I thought you said evil headMe- ...Yes Beckary, cuz I just kept evil heads in stock, would you like one?000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000Me- You wanna know what's really funny?Jo- What?Me- Your faceJo- UH! That is so mean!Me- No it's not, you wanna know what's mean?Jo- What?Me- Me having to look at your ugly face everyday.Jo- WHAT!Me- ...how could fall for that twice in a row?000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000Me- Everything's good in moderation!Papi- What about cyanide?Mom- That's fine.0000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMe-You are such a twitchy person KateringKatering- AM NOT!-Ten minutes later, talking to animal cracker-Me- -moves to poke her-Katering-EEEK! falls off the chair before she's even touchedMe- That proves my earlier point, anyway...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooWhile doing a geometry assignment, with Beckary as the writer...Beckary- How do you spell geometry?Me 'n Gracie- GROAN! G-E-O-M-E-T-R-Y! Maybe you shouldn't be the writer...Beckary- I CAN DO IT! ...how do you expel exist?Me- GIVE ME THAT!Ten seconds later, while I'm writing and Beckary is typing on a calculator...Beckary- ARG! STUPID LETTERS! Now I have to remember the alphabet!ME- ...this is why you're no longer the writer...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000Amies- Well, what does he look like?!Me-ARG! Tall, blonde? (note- total lie, sorry amies! I knew we weren't gonna find him!)Amies-Okay, is that him? Is that him? Is that him? Oh, wait he’s not blonde. Is that him?Me- No, no, no, no, NONE OF THOSE GUYS ARE HIM!Amies-There can’t be THAT many tall blonde guys.Me- Apparently there is! No!oooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooMe- Anyone who says that is gay themselves.Random-guy-I-DON’T-like- You’re gay.Me- If I was gay, I'd still get more girls than you.ooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOMe- We left her alone in the loneliness!000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooQuiet Sarah- Go milk a cow!!OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooMe- Which is funnier/stupider: Go milk a cow, or go milk a chicken?Beckary- ChickenMe- THANK YOU, OMG I THOUGHT I WAS LOSING MY MIND!! ...Supposing I had a mind to lose of course.ooooooOOOOOO00000000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOOOO00000000000000000000000000OOOOOOOOMe- GIVE ME A CRACKER AND I WILL FORGIVE THEE OF THY SINS!!Bekary- ...(hands a cracker)Me- OMG, REALLY? THAT WORKED?!00000000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo(watching the news)Me- Micheal Jackson is so creepy. -mum nodds-(scenes change to something random)Papi (dad)- Speaking of which, where are the scissors-Silence-Me- How did you go from that to scissorsPapi- Actually, I went from Micheal Jackson to scissorsMe- ...That doesn't make much sense eitherPapi- Stop changing the subject and look for the scissors!0000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO0000000000000000OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMum-You think I'm bad! Do you know what he wanted to buy? A GIANT globe, that kept spinning back to antartica!Dad- Maybe it was telling us where to go.Me-TO GO TO ANTARTICA?!Dad- It's your mother's destiny!oOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo(Right after spending hours to hang up this stupid painting my parents bought)Mum- You know...that painting reminds me of a poke ball.ooooooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo

Заглавие: Re: `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' Чет Сеп 17, 2009 11:09 am

And to think, you're the result of millions of years of evolution...

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself.

For the record, I blame you.

Idiocy is the essence of the male mind.

If I die, I'm taking you with me! Oh... you're dying? Forget that i said anything.

I have a dream, and in it something eats you.

I'm an angel! I swear! The horns are just there to hold the halo in place!

My mind works like lightning... One brilliant flash and it's gone. (( това до голяма степен се отнася и за мен.... `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' 635844

))

Of course I'm out of my mind!.... it's dark and scary in there!

That which doesn't kill you... will probably try again

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.

Брой мнения : 796 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

Така ето една порция и от мен готини извадки от книгите на Тери Пратчет

1. „Най-кратката единица за време в мултивселената е нюйоркската секунда. Тя се определя като периода между включването на зеления светофар и клаксона на таксито зад вас."
(това определено го има и в България само дето е по злобно и не се натиска клаксона, а се храни този от пред като се чуват по звучни прсувни и от тези на свинарите xD)

2. "Ринсуинд умееше да крещи за милост на деветнадесет езика, а просто да крещи - на още четиридесет и четири.“

(аз мисля че просто да крещя мога на повече езици от него

)

3. "Мисля - проточи Ваймс, - че е най-добре да напишеш в доклада "Самонараняване при оказване на съпротива срещу задържане под стража".
- Слушам, сър.
- Не е много редно да представяме случая така - намръщи се Керът.
- Те се опитаха да ограбят нашия бар и да вземат вър... тоест Ангуа за заложник - напомни Ваймс.
- О, сега разбирам, сир - поклати глава Керът. - Самонараняване. Ами да. Разбира се."

(мда определено самонарняване you're kidding, righ

както когато някое момче направи нещо не много прилично спрямо мен после ще пишат че се е самонаранил grin

)

4. "Ненамесата в събитията е като обещание да не плуваш. Абсолютно никога не го нарушаваш, освен ако не се озовеш във водата."
(мда освен ако не искаш да се удавиш nqhaha

)

5. „Дай на човека огън и той ще се топли цял ден, подпали му чергата и ще те помни за цял живот.“

(да и като добър отмъстител най-много да ти запали къщата sweetdrop

)

6. "Мирисът на смрадливците обикновено остава дълго време след като си тръгнат. Този на Дъртия Смрадлив Рон пристигаше преди него и си намираше място."

(ей тази смрад ще е убииствена dizzy

)

7. Да паднеш от клона — това далеч не беше единствената опасност, която можеше да те сполети. Едното от жабчетата го изяде гущер. Други няколко, щом излязоха на слънце, мигом почерняха — защото, както посочиха те,
мип-мип… мип-мип… мип-мип…
Жабчето-водач огледа през рамо групата, която се топеше. Едно… и още едно… и още едно… и още едно, което правеше общо… — жабчето набърчи чело в усилие да го сметне: — … ами че едно.
...От "Крилете на Масклин"

(горкото жабче

)

8. „После обаче човек отхапваше от наденичката и научаваше за кой ли път, че Диблър Сам Си Прерязвам Гърлото успява да употреби и онези части на животното, които и самото животно не подозира, че притежава. Диблър бе стигнал до прозрението, че ако сложиш в изобилие пържен лук и горчица, ще накараш хората да ядат каквото и да било.“

(блааа ще вземе да ми сее отяде месо)

9. "-ВИЖ! ИМАМ ВРЕМЕ! НАЙ-ПОСЛЕ ИМАМ ВРЕМЕ!

Албърт се отдръпна уплашен.

- И щом го имате, какво ще го правите?

Смърт яхна коня.

- ЩЕ ГО ПРОПИЛЕЯ."

(ПИЛЕЙ! ПИЛЕЙ!)

10. „Никой не обича да му казват, че днес е щастливият му ден. Такива думи не вещаят нищо добро. Когато някой ти каже, че днес е щастливият ти ден, значи нещо много неприятно е на път да ти се случи.“

(мда определено....)

11. "Някакъв човек премиташе стълбите, поне на теория. Всъщност само местеше мърсотията насам-натам, като й даваше възможност да види нови гледки и да срещне нови приятели."

(хахаха аз мета така hope my fake smile w

)

12. „Гравитацията е навик, от който е трудно да се откажеш.“

(значи астронафтите нямат най-важния навик)

13. "в неговото село минаваше за начетен, понеже повечето му татуировки бяха изписани правилно"

14. „Най-бързият начин да стигнеш до някъде е да си вече там.“

15. "Беше голяма чаша, пълна с един от онези коктейли, в които всяка лепкава силна съставка се налива майсторски, за да не се смесят слоевете.Измислят им имена като "Прокобата на небесната дъга", а където повече държат на истината - "Здравей и сбогом, сива клетчице"

16. „Някои пирати се сдобиваха с безсмъртие чрез страхотни прояви на жестокост или с отчаяна смелост. Други стигаха до безсмъртието като натрупваха несметно богатство. Но още преди много време капитанът беше взел принципното решение за себе си да се сдобие с безсмъртие, като не умира.“

(най-удачното решение)

17. "Естествено ,много важен елемент от вземането на един изпит е да отидеш трезвен на него.Доста от видните личности ,направили солидна кариера в области от икономиката като хигиенизирането на улиците, брането на плодове и свиренето на китара по подлезите ...се дължаха именно на несвоевременното разбиране на тази житейска истина."

(да ама полят изпит взет изпит ....)

18. "Коефицентът на интелигентност на разгневена тълпа е равен на коефицента на интелигентност на най-тъпия в нея, разделен на броя на участниците."

(ооо... ако питате мен даже получения резултат6 е много)

19. "...НЕ СТЕ ЛУДИ. ИЗПИТВАТЕ ПОТРЕБНОСТ ДА ВЯРВАТЕ И В ОНОВА, КОЕТО НЕ Е ИСТИНСКО. ИНАЧЕ КАК ТО ЩЕ СЕ СЛУЧИ НАКРАЯ?" - СМЪРТ"

(

Цитат :: "...НЕ СТЕ ЛУДИ.

това никак никак ама никак не се отнася за нас!!!!)

20. "...Усещаше, че тъмнината е пълна с невъобразими ужаси - а неприятното на невъобразимите ужаси е, че е твърде лесно да си ги въобразиш..."

(и това е лошото на прекаленото въображение )

21. "Възрастта му беше неопределима. Но в цинизма и общата досада от света, която е един вид историческо мерило на личността, той беше на около седем хиляди години."

22. "Керът въздъхна. В Анкх-Морпорк нямаше закони за социалната хигиена. Все едно да сложиш противопожарна система в ада."

23. "Ноби Нобс имаше много добра колекция от пъпки по лицето. Само стой отстрани и гледай какви трикове ще ти покаже с тях."

(ииииилллл.....)

24. „Същността на прогреса е в това, че лошото се случва по-бързо“

25. "Би могъл да предвожда армии-мислеше си Ангуа. -Няма спор. Някои хора са вдъхновили цели народи за велики дела със силата на убежденията си. И той би могъл. Не защото мечтае за настъпващите пълчища или за господство над света, или за хилядолетна империя. А просто защото вярва, че всеки е свестен дълбоко в душата си и ще се погажда чудесно с всички други, ако положи поне мъничко усилия. Толкова силна вяра, че е като обгърнал го пламък. Той си има мечта и всички сме част от нея, затова прекосява света наоколо. И най-стъписващото е, че никой не иска да го разочарова, защото ще е все едно до ритнеш най-едрото и симпатично пале във Вселената. Почти магия."

(и аз искам такова палеееееее!!!!)

26. „Изпитал съм и вълнение, изпитал съм и отегчение. И отегчението беше далеч по-хубавото.“

27. „Събирането на данъци, господа, в голяма степен прилича на млеконадоя. Номерът е да изстискаш максимално количество мляко при минимум мучене.“

28. „Общо взето, алхимиците в Анкх-Морпорк успяваха единствено да превръщат златото в по-малко злато.“

29. "От наставниците си знаеше, че има два показателя за добрия алхимик — атлетичен и интелектуален. Алхимикът отговаря на атлетичните критерии, ако е способен да прескочи работната маса и да се покрие зад уютно дебела яка стена за не повече от три секунди. С теста за интелигентност се справя, щом винаги знае точния момент, когато трябва да извърши спортния си подвиг.

(КАБУУУМ!!! On fire

)

30. „Хм. Косата ми се е разредила... По-малко за сресване, от една страна, но повече лице за миене...“

(ТОГАВА НА БАЩА МИ КЪДЕ МУ Е ЛИЦЕТО O.O

)

31. — Тоя ми сви чантата! И даже не ми показа значката си от Гилдията на крадците!

(ДА. Здравейте аз съм от гилдията на крадците може ли да ви свия чантата и да се направите че не сте ме видяли!!!)

32. "В преддверието Фред Колън постоя, докато ударите на сърцето му се поразредят от тракане на кастанети до биене на барабани."

(ей богу на тоя как му бие сърцето Slow

)

33. „Фантастиката и фентъзито са като спортен уред за мисълта - не могат да те отведат никъде, но тренират мускула, с който можеш да стигнеш навсякъде.“

34. „Виждаш ли колко е глупаво цялото това магьосничество. Цели двайсет години учиш магията, която довежда голи девици в спалнята ти, а накрая си така упоен от живачни пари и толкова си ослепял от четене на стари магьоснически книги, че въобще не можеш да си спомниш какво следва после.“

35. "Конят беше стар. И ездачът беше стар. Конят изглеждаше като скара за хляб в отесняла кожа. Човекът изглеждаше така, като че единствената причина да не се саморазпадне беше, че не можеше да събере достатъчно енергия за това."

36. "Сержант Колън имаше широка обща култура. Той беше минал през школата на Баща Ми Винаги Казваше, завършил беше колежа Всички Знаят, а в момента правеше аспирантура в университета Един Човек В Кръчмата Го Разправя."

(а нащо даскало как можем да го наречем Даскалото В Което Малко Знаят Как Се Пише НЕ ЗНАМ!!!)

37. "Магията е, за да бъде управлявана, а не за да управлява."

38. „Автентичната тъпота всеки път надминава изкуствения интелект.“

(Е НЕ!)

39. "— Имам задача за теб — каза Съдбата. Думите му се плъзнаха по косата на Смърт и се срязаха послушно на две ленти — от гласни и съгласни."

40. "Бях нещастен, защото нямах обувки, докато не срещнах човек без крака."

41. „Той се смееше в обратнопропорционална зависимост спрямо съдържанието на хумор в ситуацията.“

42. „О, богове, вече не е като в годините с палка в ръка и звънче на колана. Без да се замисля, пробягвах половината град в лудешка гонитба с кримките.“ С гордост и мъничко срам той добави: „И нито едно от гадните копелета не успя да ме спипа!“

43. „Костенурката е животно, притежаващо скорост, достатъчна му, за да хване марулята.“

44. "Aко не превърнеш живота си в приказка, просто ставаш част от нечия друга приказка."

45. "Тя:
- Гръдният ти кош прилича на тостер в мокра найлонова торбичка.
Морт погледна към пазвата й, в която имаше храна за поне две котила ротвайлерчета, но премълча."

(ест че ще замълчи не иска да умре млад)

46. Учените са изчислили, че вероятността нещо толкова явно абсурдно да съществува, е едно на милион.
Но магьосниците пък са изчислили, че шансът едно на милион се пада девет от всеки десет пъти.

47. "- Айн крилатхен -промърмори Леля
- Какво значи това? - попита Маграт
- Значи прилеп на чужд език."

48. "Всеки слагаше настрана по нещичко за черни дни, макар наоколо му отдавна да е паднал непрогледен мрак."

49. „Естествено - отговори Ринсуинд, - това, което героите обичат най-много, е самите себе си.“

50. „Няма смисъл да водиш война, ако ще си на губещата страна.“

51. "Многото удивителни са ясен признак за душевно смущение!“

52. "Агнес се подсмихна нещастно. След като опозна донякъде Кристина, започна да се бори с желанието да надникне през едното й ухо, за да провери вижда ли се дневната светлина през другото."

53. "Когато навлезе в Занаята, човек се научава, че най-сложният вид магия е да не използва магията изобщо."

54. „Такива са си хората, странни. Свий пет кинта и си жалък крадец. Открадни хиляди долари и ще си или в правителството, или герой.“

55. „Нямам нищо против скуката. На нея можеш да разчиташ.“

56. "Хаосът се намира в изобилие тъкмо там, където някой се опитва да въведе ред. И хаосът винаги надмогва реда, защото е по-способен организатор."

57. „Мажете хляба от страната на маслото!“

58. Трябва да има дума за този кратък период от време точно след като се събуди човек, когато съзнанието му е пълно с топло, розово нищо. Лежиш си там напълно изпразнен от мисъл, с изключение на едно нарастващо подозрение, че насочени право срещу теб, като чорап пълен с мокър пясък, в нощна уличка, се носят всички онези спомени, без които би предпочел да минеш, и които се свеждат до факта, че единственият успокояващ фактор в ужасното ти бъдеще е увереността, че то ще бъде доста кратко

59. "Перото е по-силно от сабята само ако сабята е много малка, а перото много остро."

60. "Лицето му приемаше крайно отблъскващи форми - брадата му бе предприела поход към челото, но някъде по средата на пътя се бе отказала."

61. „Слънчевата светлината мисли, че е по-бърза от всичко, но греши. Без значение колко бързо пътува тя, тъмнината винаги е там първа и я чака.“

62. „Можеше да е и по-зле - каза Ринсуинд като за сбогом. - Можеше да бъда аз.“

63. „— Какви студенти, бе? - изръмжа Архиканцлерът.
— Не се ли сещате, господине? Онези по-кльощавите и бледите? Нали сме в университет? Те са задължителна част от пейзажа като плъховете.“

64. Леле божке! Да доведа ли доктор?
- Ти луд ли си!? Нали искаме да оживее!

65. „Естественият подбор се грижи професионалните герои, които в решителния момент си задават въпроси като "А каква е всъщност моята цел в живота?", бързо да се прощават и с целта, и с живота.“

66. "Всичко е лъжи. Просто някои са по-хубави от другите, това е всичко. Хората виждат онова,което си мислят, че виждат. Дори аз съм една лъжа. Но успявам да я пробутам."

67. „Ако усмивката му зейнеше още малко, главата му би се търколила на пода.“

68. "Някъде в тропическата джунгла на подсъзнанието му изникна пеперудата на съмнението и се опита да размаха крилца, без изобщо да подозира какво твърди теорията на хаоса за подобни явления.."

69. „Винаги си избирай по-голям враг. По-лесно се улучва.“

70. Когато се подхлъзнеш от една скала, животът ти придобива много определена посока

71. ТОВА СА ТЕ, СМЪРТНИТЕ — продължи Смърт. — ДАДЕНИ СА ИМ ЕДВА НЯКОЛКО ГОДИНИ НА ТОЗИ СВЯТ И ТЕ ПРАВЯТ ВСИЧКО ВЪЗМОЖНО ДА ГИ УСЛОЖНЯТ. ОЧАРОВАТЕЛНО, НАЛИ. ВЗЕМИ СИ КРАСТАВИЧКА.

72. "Насърчи го фактът, че коларят имаше вид на човек, който ще даде правилния отговор само в 6 от 10 случая, ако го попитат как се казва."

73. Морт се втренчи в пържените си яйца. Те му отвърнаха със същото откъм езерце мазнина.

74. " -А,Брута виждам че храниш рибите!
-Не господарю,лошо ми е господарю!"

75. "...ВЗЕМИ ВСЕЛЕНАТА И Я СТРИЙ НА НАЙ -ФИН ПРАХ, ПОСЛЕ Я ПУСНИ ПРЕЗ НАЙ-ДРЕБНОТО СИТО. И НАКРАЯ, АКО МОЖЕШ, ПОКАЖИ МИ ПОНЕ ЕДНО АТОМЧЕ СПРАВЕДЛИВОСТ, ЕДНА МОЛЕКУЛА МИЛОСЪРДИЕ.
А ВЪПРЕКИ ТОВА ВИЕ СЕ ДЪРЖИТЕ ТАКА, СЯКАШ ИМА НЯКАКЪВ ИДЕАЛЕН РЕД В СВЕТА, СЯКАШ ВЪВ ВСЕЛЕНАТА СЪЩЕСТВУВА НЯКАКВА...ПРАВОТА, ПО КОЯТО СЪДИТЕ ЗА ВСИЧКО..."

Заглавие: Re: `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' Съб Апр 03, 2010 9:37 am

Ох, ха-ха тия бяха велики ха-ха `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' 98645

Ама яз ги знам някои бееее `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' 770493

мн радват иначе. Тен-чан а като чете Тери Пратчет хареса ли ти как я описва Смърт? `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' 98645

Мисля че той ми е любимия герой от всичките `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' 202915

Брой мнения : 796 Join date : 30.01.2009 Age : 33

Проблема е че аз още не съм чела нищо освен Автентичната котка

Заглавие: Re: `0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' Пон Сеп 13, 2010 11:16 am

1. The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

2. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

3.No,please don't eat me. I have a wife and kids,eat them.

4. Мъжете се делят на цицофили и гъзомани, а аз съм обикновен клиторианец.

5. На мене и шизофренията ми страда от циклофрения!

6. Аз всъщност не съм такъв алкохолик, за какъвто ме мислите. Аз съм по-голям!

7. Хайде сега тези които закъсняват за работа или даскало да си кажат СТАВАМ... И да се завият обратно през глава!

8. Аз всяка сутрин си идвам на работа по фланелка и с любимото ми кожено елече. Колегите ми ме мислят за луд и сигурно са прави...

9. Днес прочетох някъде по други форуми как яко ни оплюват - значи добре си вършим работата!

10. Как очаквате баба Марта да е доволна между Февруари който е къс и Април който е мек?

11. С приятели като вас, врагове не ми трябват.

12. Защо мислят, че са открили разумен живот на марс, като са намерили вода, а не алкохол?

13. А пък 'I go home' на чист шопско-английски било 'Мойто боди че си оди'...

14. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

15. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

16. The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

17. What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

18. Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million. (пич искам и аз така....)

Funny Simpsons Quotes

19. "Press any key to continue, where's the any key?" - Homer

20. Oh, man! We killed Mr. Burns! Mr. Burns is gonna be so mad! - Homer

21. I hope I didn't brain my damage... - Homer

22. What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway. - Homer

23. I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff... and I want in. - Homer (и аз и аз!!!)

Other

24. “Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”

25. “You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”

26. “There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.”

27. “You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”

28. “A line is a dot that went for a walk. ”

29. “An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.”

30. Personally, I don’t think there’s intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

31. "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."

32. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."

33. "Thanks, you don't look so hot yourself." - after being told he looked cool.

34. "People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world,"

35. "Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed."

36. "Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

37. "I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."

38. "What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic."

39.
`0~~ CrAzY QuOtEs ~~0' Doggy

за разнообразие luv me